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06 January 2007 @ 11:15 pm
New Torchwood story  
Title: Five Moments of Clarity: Ianto Jones
Author: Miss Pamela
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: Nc-17
Notes: SPOILERS for the end of the season. Huge beta thanks go out to calathea for Britpicking the heck out of it and to giddygeek for giving it the final once-over. Apologies to Kagey -- I got impatient!

The others had gone home. Only Jack remained. Ianto had expected it; from his months with Lisa—Ianto closed his eyes, willing the visions of blood and metal from his mind – he knew that Jack lived at Torchwood.

Ianto looked down at his hands. They were bloody. No surprise there either; there was so much blood, blood everywhere, rubbish everywhere, paper everywhere. Metal everywhere. For once in his life, Ianto didn’t know where to start cleaning.

Except he’d apparently started with one teacup that had shattered on the floor and he just kept going with it, dragging his fingers through the shards and the dirt until his blood mixed with the dried brown blood on his palms and the rough concrete of the floor.

“Idiot,” Jack knelt down beside Ianto and grabbed his hand. “Do you know what’s on that floor?” He hauled Ianto up and led him to the sink.

Ianto thought about punching him out, but his hand was starting to throb. He needed to clean up. The place was a mess.

“…have you ever actually seen gangrene? Your hands are way too pretty for that…”

His flat. His flat was clean. And empty. Lisa’s clothes were in the closet. Her things…he’d put away her things…

“Ianto? Ianto, stay with me.” Jack’s eyes were very blue and suddenly two inches from his face. “She died a long time ago. She hadn’t been human for a long time.”

“That right? Look who’s talking.” Ianto wrenched his hand away from Jack’s, got up, and pitched forward onto the floor. Everything went black.

When he came to, he was on a camp bed in Jack’s office. A clean, pressed suit hung on the coat rack next to him. Without looking up from the paperwork on his desk, Jack said, “You have fifteen minutes to get coffee and breakfast. Then you’re going to finish cleaning up the mess you made.” He flicked his eyes upward to meet Ianto’s. “Understood?”

Ianto stood as tall as he could and inclined his head. “Yes, sir.”


The thing about working for Jack was, at some point, everyone had the realization, "Hey, my boss fancies me." But Jack, given the right mood, fancied footballers, footballers wives, the six o’clock news reader with the spectacular bosoms, the pizza delivery boy, and on rare occasions, the pizza. So Ianto never took to heart all the times he saw Jack’s gaze linger a moment too long as he reached down to pick up a dropped spoon or a flyaway paper. That was just Jack; Ianto didn’t give it a second thought.

That is, until the day Tosh said, giggling into her curry, “You know, I think Jack fancies you.”

“Bollocks, Tosh.” Owen stole a bit of chicken out of her bowl. “Jack fancies everyone. Ol’ Ianto here’s just the prettiest of our lot.”

“Honestly,” Ianto said, and walked out, balancing a tray of tea, mineral water, and Indian takeaway up to Jack’s office. He opened the door with his elbow and set the tray on Jack’s desk.

“What’s Tosh laughing at?” Jack asked, turning away from the window.

“She thinks you fancy me.” Ianto carefully poured the tea and brought it over to Jack. The cup clinked against the saucer and a drop of amber liquid sloshed over the side.

Jack steadied the cup, his thumb brushing over Ianto’s. “Of course I fancy you.” He winked at Ianto. “Why wouldn’t I?”

It was a rhetorical question -- a Jack question -- but Ianto, pausing at the door, had to answer. “I threatened to kill you.”

Snorting into his tea, Jack said, “You’d be surprised at how many people who’ve shared my bed can say the same.”


Torchwood was full of ghosts.

Ghosts from far galaxies and lost eras. Ghosts from the near past. Ghosts in the machines and in the walls.

And two living ghosts: Jack and Ianto.

Ianto only returned to his flat once a week, to clean up the dust and take in the mail. Other than that, he stayed at the Hub, cleaning, looking after Jack, learning, and watching.

He’d taken to dropping in on Jack in his little rooms under the Hub to see if he needed anything late at night -- usually, Jack was writing or still working. But one night, Ianto came in to make the bed and Jack walked in, naked to the waist, wearing only a white towel slung around his hips.

“Sorry, Ianto. Didn’t hear you.” Typical Jack; not even making a move suggesting embarrassment. He strode over to the mirror and slathered something into his hair. It was so strange to see Jack out of uniform -- and it was a uniform, of sorts, not an affectation. Ianto was sure of that. In his shirtsleeves, Jack looked practically naked. But this, this was something new.

Ianto couldn’t stop staring at the smooth muscles of Jack’s shoulders, the dip at the base of his spine, the drops of water still trailing down his sides...Ianto wondered what Jack would do if he pulled off the towel and licked the rest of the water off of him...

“Ianto?” Jack had turned around and was staring at him. No, not staring, exactly. He was looking at Ianto, to be sure, but something in his eyes made Ianto break out in a sweat underneath his suit. “Was there anything else?”

Jack stepped closer, never breaking eye contact. “Were you looking to expand...your duties?” His expression didn’t give anything away, just mild interest.

His throat suddenly dry and his palms sweating, Ianto croaked, “Whatever you need, sir.”

Reaching up to touch Ianto’s face, Jack said, “I’d think long and hard about that, if I were you. Go get some sleep.”

Ianto left, shaken. When he got upstairs, he leaned against the doorway, pressing his hand against the front of his trousers. He didn’t know what the hell he was doing. Starting something up with the boss? Never a good idea in the best of circumstances, and Jack was so unpredictable, but...Ianto belonged to Torchwood. And Torchwood belonged to Jack.

When Ianto got back downstairs, Jack was still wearing the towel. He looked up and said, “Done thinking? Good.”

Pulling off the towel and falling to his knees, Ianto didn’t bother with a reply.


Ianto never knew anything could feel like this. Three weeks of shagging Captain Jack Harkness, and his sexual world had been turned upside down.

Moaning, Ianto stretched his legs further back, his knees almost touching his ears. Jack braced himself above Ianto, his eyes wide open. He hung his head down and bumped his forehead against Ianto’s. “Ready?” he whispered, his breath gusting over Ianto’s lips.

As a response, Ianto pushed his forehead into Jack’s and angled his hips upward. He felt a heavy, blunt pressure and he gasped, grabbing and twisting the sheets. His cock ached between their bodies, jerking into the air. “You could come like this,” Jack murmured as he slid in another inch. Ianto’s thighs clenched involuntarily, the slight pain and fullness combining into harsh, almost unbearable pleasure. Jack pushed again. “You could come without another touch, looking into my eyes.”

Ianto’s hands scrabbled against Jack’s sides, looking for something, anything to hold onto. He needed more; more friction, more movement, more Jack. “Please,” he begged, moving his hips. “Now, please.”

“Well, since you asked so nicely.” Jack grinned and started to move; short, shallow thrusts, then longer, deeper, until Ianto’s teeth ground together and stars flashed in front of his eyes. He squeezed them shut and Jack said, “No, Ianto. Look at me.” Ianto did and there was Jack, so bloody gorgeous and looking at him so openly, like he wasn’t hiding anymore, and Ianto realized with a shock that Jack was right, he could come like this. And then the shockwaves started from deep inside him, spreading through his whole body, up through his toes, and he looked deep into Jack’s eyes and came and came and came, without another touch.

When the aftershocks were over, Jack surprised Ianto by dropping a kiss on the corner of his mouth. “You’re beautiful,” he said, and he thrust into Ianto very, very slowly several times and shuddered, moaning into Ianto’s mouth.

Jack asked him to stay for the first time that night.


Gone. Not gone, dead. Gone was when aliens took you or you were lost in the Rift. Gone was being out of radio contact or nipping down to the takeaway.

Dead was seeing Jack’s body on the slab.

Dead was trying to clean out Jack’s desk and stopping because the tears blurred Ianto’s eyes and dripped onto the files.

Dead was trying to hide his pain from the team.

They never knew. They might have guessed, like Owen, that there was something going on, but they never knew what it was like. Not really.

And they never would have. Jack was always careful to stay professional, always careful that nobody was around, always...

But not anymore.

Ianto stared at the parts in front of him, blindly moving his hands. Jack was dead. Everything was over. He didn’t know how Gwen could stay down there with...the body. Ianto would be screaming right now, pounding Jack’s chest, begging for just one more word, one more look, one more kiss.

Behind him, Tosh let out a little gasp -- he saw her move, just a flash of pink -- and there, oh God, there he was.

Pale. Sick. Grey. But alive. And smiling. And hugging Tosh. The world spun around Ianto. He wanted to run into Jack’s arms and never let go. He wanted to knock him on the floor and kiss him senseless.

But Jack was always careful. So Ianto walked out slowly, extended his hand for a hearty, professional shake, unable to look Jack in the eye, but Jack grabbed him and hugged him, solid and real. He was real. He was alive.

Then, in front of everyone, Jack put one hand on the back of Ianto’s head, one hand, warm and heavy, on Ianto’s chest, tipped his head down and --

Cori Lannamcorilannam on January 7th, 2007 04:34 am (UTC)
Oh, I love this! Fantastic look at the development of the relationship and Ianto's feelings. The voices and characters were right *on.*

Great work! I need to reread it. Like, now.
misspamela: Ianto - towelrack iconsmisspamela on January 7th, 2007 01:56 pm (UTC)
Yay, thank you! I'm so glad you liked it.
a velour panda: tw ianto + coat = TEARScosmic on January 7th, 2007 04:37 am (UTC)
This is lovely. And all sorts of hot. And kind of perfect.
misspamela: Capt Jack - Chickwritermisspamela on January 7th, 2007 01:57 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
sooo many copper pots: ZOMG YAYthecomfychair on January 7th, 2007 04:41 am (UTC)
Now that was great, I loved the third bit in particular!
misspamela: Sonic - oolahmisspamela on January 7th, 2007 02:11 pm (UTC)
Thank you! (That's actually my favorite bit, too!
MissLucyJane: sexual tensionmisslucyjane on January 7th, 2007 05:07 am (UTC)
Oohhhhhh. Loveliness. Thank you!
misspamela: Ianto - towelrack iconsmisspamela on January 7th, 2007 02:11 pm (UTC)
Thank YOU!
Lady Koori: bw Jackladykoori on January 7th, 2007 05:39 am (UTC)
Oh, lovely!
misspamelamisspamela on January 7th, 2007 07:09 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
shara50: Captain Jackshara50 on January 7th, 2007 05:56 am (UTC)
That was lovely and a little heartbreaking. Thanks.
misspamela: Jack Ianto Grab - 626 iconsmisspamela on January 7th, 2007 07:09 pm (UTC)
I don't see a very happy ending for them, but I still love them! Thank you.
JenyTheyScreamedatheneunknown on January 7th, 2007 06:18 am (UTC)
Gorgeous. Lovely. Spectacular.

I could be ranting for days if you let me.
misspamela: Ten Bubbles - anais_dirgemisspamela on January 7th, 2007 07:30 pm (UTC)
Oh, go on! No, seriously...go on! ;)
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on January 8th, 2007 07:05 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - atheneunknown on January 8th, 2007 07:09 am (UTC) (Expand)
munninmunnin_odanin on January 7th, 2007 07:42 am (UTC)
*whimpering in quiet happiness* wow...
misspamela: Companions - megalynnmisspamela on January 7th, 2007 07:44 pm (UTC)
Wow, thank you!
Robyn: stoplooklistenmagickaldreamer on January 7th, 2007 09:20 am (UTC)
But Jack, given the right mood, fancied footballers, footballers wives, the six o’clock news reader with the spectacular bosoms, the pizza delivery boy, and on rare occasions, the pizza.

This line had me laughing for about five minutes.

Ianto did and there was Jack, so bloody gorgeous and looking at him so openly, like he wasn’t hiding anymore, and Ianto realized with a shock that Jack was right, he could come like this.

This one had my heart going a bit offbeat. It's just so perfect.

But not anymore.

And this one rearranged a couple internal organs and made me cry.
misspamela: OMG their little heads - pearlomisspamela on January 7th, 2007 08:50 pm (UTC)
Oh! Um. *puts your organs back*

Thank you so much!!
Wolfman: Teh Penguan Of Deathagape_eternal on January 7th, 2007 11:56 am (UTC)
Really vivid and wonderful. Gorgeous writing.
misspamela: Bond. James Bond.misspamela on January 7th, 2007 08:51 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
Claire: Jack/Iantojustdreaming88 on January 7th, 2007 12:43 pm (UTC)
Oh :) what an ending. Fab fic, I think you've written the characters very well.
misspamela: Jack Ianto Grab - 626 iconsmisspamela on January 7th, 2007 08:52 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! It was my first go at them.
Gunbunny: jack-ianto takeburntcopper on January 7th, 2007 01:13 pm (UTC)
lovely. Like the stages, and Ianto's line at the last bit about them being careful

<--also guilty of fancying the pizza on occasion.
misspamela: Ianto - towelrack iconsmisspamela on January 7th, 2007 08:52 pm (UTC)
Icon LOVE!!!

And thank you!
( ・_・)r鹵~<炎炎炎: nosepickingmayaserana on January 7th, 2007 02:24 pm (UTC)
That is just AWESOME. Love the writing style, love how you portrayed them, just loving it.
misspamela: Yay -afterismmisspamela on January 7th, 2007 08:54 pm (UTC)
Thank you so very much!
00vicky00: pic#5643493300vicky00 on January 7th, 2007 02:26 pm (UTC)
Wow. That was brilliant, I loved them all but really enjoyed three and four.
Nice work :D
misspamela: Ianto - towelrack iconsmisspamela on January 7th, 2007 08:57 pm (UTC)
I'm blushing! Thank you!
lower_case_melower_case_me on January 7th, 2007 02:56 pm (UTC)
Pizza! Also, all of number 4!
misspamela: HANDS - Liviamisspamela on January 7th, 2007 09:08 pm (UTC)
Hee! Yay!
Krystal Shaykrystalshay on January 7th, 2007 02:58 pm (UTC)
This is absolutely wonderful. I actually can't believe how much of a punch it packs in five short segments. It fits so well with what we have seen onscreen, and provides us with the most in-character explanation for why Ianto didn't wait in the morgue for days like Gwen.

Just. Wow.

Sorry, can't write more. Must reread.
misspamela: Jack Ianto Grab - 626 iconsmisspamela on January 7th, 2007 09:12 pm (UTC)
Oh, wow, thank you for the lovely feedback!
(no subject) - krystalshay on January 7th, 2007 09:16 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - misspamela on January 7th, 2007 09:19 pm (UTC) (Expand)
matan4il: Janto's hand and namematan4il on January 7th, 2007 05:29 pm (UTC)
I enjoyed this very much, especially the "need more Jack" bit. :D Thank you!

(oh yeah, and I could so see Jack sexually oggling a pizza... *chuckles*)
misspamela: Perfect Pirate - kageymisspamela on January 7th, 2007 09:13 pm (UTC)
Yay, thank you!
(no subject) - matan4il on January 8th, 2007 03:09 am (UTC) (Expand)
Shut up & show me your jazz hands...: Brendon Urie ♥kingsnvagabonds on January 7th, 2007 07:46 pm (UTC)
Aww, I love this. Such a great different rendition of that last scene. just great. xx
misspamela: boykiss- akire_ytamisspamela on January 7th, 2007 09:25 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
Kirke: Peanutkirke_novak on January 7th, 2007 08:16 pm (UTC)
That's right, Ianto is the prettiest of the lot! :D

That was really well written and I think that this line: But Jack, given the right mood, fancied footballers, footballers wives, the six o’clock news reader with the spectacular bosoms, the pizza delivery boy, and on rare occasions, the pizza. killed me DED!

The last one was def. my favorite.
misspamela: Ten Bubbles - anais_dirgemisspamela on January 7th, 2007 09:25 pm (UTC)
I'm so glad you liked it! Thanks!
Mara: Jacanto 3mara_202 on January 7th, 2007 08:41 pm (UTC)
Ooohh! Great fic. I love it.
misspamela: Ianto - towelrack iconsmisspamela on January 7th, 2007 09:26 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
subtly_modded: hell of a hard onsubtly_modded on January 7th, 2007 09:37 pm (UTC)
oh yes! very nice. thank you!
misspamelamisspamela on January 8th, 2007 12:36 am (UTC)
No, thank YOU!
Lucy: capjackislandcereta on January 7th, 2007 10:04 pm (UTC)
How did I miss this? It's beautiful!
misspamela: GUH - Kelliemmisspamela on January 8th, 2007 12:37 am (UTC)
Apparently you don't read my journal, woman!

(Kidding! Kidding!)

Thank you so much!
Elke Tanzer: TW life is a dance floorelke_tanzer on January 8th, 2007 12:11 am (UTC)
Oh, this is just so deftly done and beautiful. Bravo!!
misspamela: Ianto - towelrack iconsmisspamela on January 8th, 2007 12:37 am (UTC)
Thank you so much!!!
(Deleted comment)
misspamela: Jack/Ianto - towelrack iconsmisspamela on January 9th, 2007 12:42 am (UTC)
Wow, thank you so much for the amazing feedback!
t-bone, the disco spider: t; familiar.prettyquotable on January 8th, 2007 04:13 am (UTC)
Oh man, this is so awesome. You've got all their voices spot on, and that ending is wonderful. ♥
misspamela: boykiss- akire_ytamisspamela on January 9th, 2007 01:19 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! I was a little nervous about the ending. :)