Author: The Don’t-Look-At-Me-I-Had-A-Finished-Draft-A-W
Beta: the finally-finished-with-finals ophymirage
Characters: Ianto Jones, Captain Jack Harkness, Gwen Cooper, Captain John Hart, Rhys Williams, Janet the Weevil, Bradwyn Kapo, & a cast of (literally) thousands.
Rated: Adult for slash, canon bisexuality, non-gratuitous drug use, language, violence, and lots and lots of sex (various pairings and kinds.)
Disclaimer: I don't own the boys (and girls), though if they saw what I write, they might wish I did.
Spoilers: Everything up to Children of Earth is fair game. But there IS no CoE. Hear us, Oh-SF-Dork-Who-Won’t-Admit-He-Messed-Up?
Summary: AU. OT3 ZOMG! Jack/John Hart/Ianto. Captain Hart is back in town. The Weevils are acting weird. It might be the end of the world. Let the crack-tastic smut ensue.
On with the show...
“Here's how to be an agreeable chap
Love me and leave me in luxury's lap
Hop when I holler, skip when I snap
When I say, "do it," jump to it
“Send out for scotch, call me a cab
Cut me a rose, make my tea with the petals
Just hang around, pick up the tab
Never out think me, just mink me
Polar bear rug me, don't bug me
New Thunderbird me, you heard me
I'm getting hungry, peel me a grape”
(In which Ianto is petulant, Jack is unapologetic, and John is the surprising voice of reason.)
CHAPTER 37: The First Ten
Link to previous Faithful!Verse stories
Crossposted to jackxianto, torchwoodslash, guns_n_poodles