There Are Times...
Rating: PG
Summary: There are times Jack wonders... A little pre-CotE story where Jack reflects on his life and the current people featured in it. Short (just over 300 words) and biter-sweet, no spoilers. Please read. My first post here, sorry if I mess up the tags.
There Are Times...
Torchwood and Doctor Who are owned by the BBC & RTD. No infringement intended. I make no money from this.
There are times Jack wonders; what would it be like if he hadn't gone with the Doctor, saw what he did, done what he'd done? But, he know he can't cross his own timeline.
There are times Jack wishes the Doctor would come, save that day, wisk him back up to the stars and take away the heaviness that 21st century Earth causes – that babysitting ungrateful children causes, and make him feel human – alive – again. But, the Doctor already offered, and he turned him down.
There are times Jack wants to run away, return to the stars, the future, to places where race and gender and skin colour are meaningless, where sex is about connection, where he can be careless and free – be the person he used to be before... But, who would take care of Earth's problems in his absence.
There are times Jack wonders who he will sacrifice – who he will betray – to protect the Earth and her people, how many will he kill, how many loved ones will die of either old age or knowing him before his eyes. There is no But for this one.
Ianto turns to him, when the sex is more about love rather than convenience (for the both of them) and tells him “It's alright”. And he knows, and Jack knows, that the day will come when Ianto will die, when Jack may be forced to watch him die knowing he had a part in his death. Ianto knows Jack may be forced to let them die to save the greater good, he knows Jack, he understands, Gwen doesn't. He loves Jack.
Jack vows that this is one he won't leave, not till he is cold and dead in his hands; unfortunately, he also has a feeling that Ianto isn't going to be one of the loves that he will have around for eighty years. And that scares him. He feels human again.