Title: Torchwood High
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Size: 108,000 + and growing
Pairings: Jack/Ianto mainly but many others
Characters: Jack, Ianto, Tosh, Owen, Gwen, (Torchwood). Others from Doctor Who.
Rating: NC-17 but its not very graphic more implied.
Spoilers: The story weaves through Torchwood from the beginning so there will be spoilers for all series. There are also some references to Doctor Who series. But as this is AU things won’t exactly be the same or turn out the same way.
Warnings: some sexual content including m/m, f/f and m/f
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters as they belong to Russell T Davies and the BBC but I do get to play with them.
Warnings: The issue of child abuse is mentioned here.
Author’s Note: This is the Friday before half term and my sort of attempt at a Cyberwoman chapter with a difference. It might sort of slip towards an M rating towards the end, Ianto finally confronts his feelings and Jack.
Chapter 4 – Secrets and lies
It was Friday morning and Ianto was a mess of confusion; last night the unthinkable had happened – Lisa had woken up. After a year in a coma there had been initial movements by hands and then suddenly she opened her eyes; then she’d spoken. Her first word had been ‘Ianto’.
He knew he should be ecstatic that she was awake but the reality was that he no longer knew how he felt about Lisa. He loved her but did he want to be with her any more? He simply wasn’t sure and while she was in the coma he hadn’t had to think about how he felt. Then there was Jack and how he felt about him and that was the real problem. Ianto felt guilty because he resented the fact that Lisa had woken up now. Why hadn’t it been months ago before he met Jack? Things would have been so much less complicated; she would have got better and they’d have somehow returned to the life they planned. But now Ianto knew deep in his heart that this wasn’t possible and he had no idea what to do about it, except that he suddenly needed to talk to Jack more than anything else to tell him what was really going on in the hidden part of his life.
It was still early enough so he phoned Jack and told him that his car wouldn’t start and could he have a lift. Jack said he’d be there by 7.15 am.
Ianto took particular care that morning and put on his red shirt, dark grey suit and grey tie. He knew why, he simply wanted to look good for Jack.
He waited at the door and Jack was on time. He got in the SUV next to Jack just murmuring a thank you. He sat silently in the car wondering what had made him do this, although, he already knew the answer. He felt very tense sitting so close to Jack and Jack noticed him tensing his hands.
‘Are you OK Ianto you seem to be a bit on edge?’
Jack put his hand on Ianto’s thigh and he jumped a mile.
‘Do you try it on with everyone Jack? I’m not gay and I think you should keep your hands on the wheel.’
‘No, and that wasn’t me trying it on, and for the record I’m not actually gay,’ Jack replied. His tone was equally tense now.
‘Come off it I’ve seen you looking me up and down so many times.’
‘If truth be told Ianto Jones I’ve seen you doing the same to me as well.’
Ianto put his head in his hands and began to weep. Jack realised that they were near Culverhouse Cross and he drove quickly and parked the car in the furthest corner of the car park. One advantage of driving this car was the tinted side windows so no-one could see in.
‘What is it Ianto? If it’s me I’m sorry. I’ll lay off if that’s what you want. It’s just you’re so……..’
‘It’s not you Jack, it’s me. I’ve been so jealous watching you and Gwen flirting. The truth is I can’t think about anything but you, I don’t want to see anyone but you, I don’t even want to be with anyone but you and……..’ he swallowed hard, ‘yesterday my girlfriend woke up after being in a coma for over twelve months. I should be happy and excited as I’ve been living on eggshells for all this time. My life has been on hold and then you come along and instead of feeling like a miracle has happened, I just feel bloody guilty because I don’t love her like I did anymore because all I can think about is you, bloody Jack Harkness, you!’
Jack sat looking at Ianto and didn’t know what to say after such an outburst from the seemingly quiet and self contained man. How had he managed to keep this to himself?
‘I’m sorry Ianto. I didn’t even know that you had a girlfriend let alone one in a coma. I would never have……… well you know. What happened?’
‘She was in a car accident a year ago and ended up unconscious. We were told that she’d come out of it but when it didn’t happen I began not to believe any more. It became a duty. My life was put on hold and then yesterday she woke up, just like that. Everyone was excited. She knew who we were and was coherent but couldn’t move her legs. I kept thinking what if she’s paralysed. I just knew I didn’t want her in the same way but what can I do Jack? It’s such a mess.’
‘Do you want me Ianto? Is that why you don’t want her?’
‘Yes,’ he whispered, ‘and no. How I feel about Lisa has been coming on for months. How I feel about you has me totally confused and then you were all over Gwen.’
Jack lent towards Ianto and put a hand behind his head. He pulled him gently towards him and kissed him. Ianto put up no resistance and kissed him back. He couldn’t have put his feelings into words but this felt right even though everything from his upbringing and past screamed that it was wrong. He pulled away finally.
‘Does that tell you how I feel about Gwen?’ Jack asked.
Ianto didn’t feel ready for anymore conversation.
‘We’d better get off or we’re going to be late and just arriving together is going to cause gossip so I’d rather we get there before the kids arrive.’
‘OK Ianto but this conversation isn’t over. I’ll take you home tonight. This is your lighter day isn’t it?’
‘Yes Martha must have decided to be kind to the newbie as I only teach three lessons today and I’m free last lesson. I don’t think I’ll be playing football tonight.’
‘No but we need to talk. Will you be alright today? You know where I am.’
‘You know me Jack or you’re beginning to, everything has its compartment in my head. I’ll cope, will you?’
Later that day Jack was driving Ianto home.
‘Jack I’ve got to go to the hospital. I’ll be back after seven. Can you wait until then? I do want to talk to you, please.’
‘OK, but I will be there and I’m not with the TA tomorrow and, of course, it is half term in case you’d forgotten.’
Ianto understood what Jack was saying but didn’t want to think what this could mean. He had to get over seeing Lisa and her parents first. At the hospital he found Lisa awake. She was still tired but she knew where she was and understood what had happened. Her parents were full of praise for how Ianto had stood by and visited all the time and how loyal he was. Ianto just felt more wretched. He left after an hour and went home. At seven thirty the doorbell rang and when he opened the door Jack stood there is his great coat dressed like something out of World War Two. Ianto’s heart skipped a beat.
‘Do I get to come in or are we going to talk on the doorstep and give the neighbours a reason to twitch their curtains?’
‘Yes, sorry, not thinking. Come in.’
Ianto took Jack to the living room and Jack sat on the sofa.
‘Would you like some coffee Jack because I need some and have you eaten? I’m going to order pizza.’
‘Pizza sounds great and yes coffee would be good. I assume you’ve been to the hospital and why didn’t you tell me?’
Ianto brought the coffee in.
‘I didn’t tell anyone except John to begin with and then Tosh when I had a bit of a wobbler. I didn’t want everyone feeling sorry for me. That’s why I left the last place. The women either wanted to mother me or to replace Lisa. I couldn’t cope.’
‘So you ran back to Wales?’
‘Well I followed Lisa. I didn’t know what else to do. What sort of person would I be to leave her?’
Jack grabbed Ianto’s hand and held it.
‘Ianto I know that there is something between us. This isn’t just me is it?’
‘No Jack I can’t explain it. I’ve never ever fancied a man before and yet I’ve found myself looking at you since we first met and I know you’ve looked at me. I admire you so much Jack. Despite your being gay you’ve survived in a high school. The kids, the staff love and respect you. That is hugely impressive.’
‘Yes I’m not quite sure how that happened. The staff always knew. I made no secret of it but some students asked about ten years ago and I found myself telling the truth. I’d been seen out with a fellow member of the TA. I sort of had to admit it to them as well and somehow I survived. The old head was very supportive and John is bloody amazing.’
‘So have you always known you were gay?’
‘I’m not gay Ianto, I’m flexible! I may as well tell you this now as you’re not the only one with secrets. I have a daughter and a grandson. I don’t see either of them. I was sixteen and so was Lucia. Her parents took her away. I got the odd photo but that’s all.’
‘That must be so hard Jack. Did you never want to get married or anything?’
‘I’ve had a few offers but I haven’t always managed to be monogamous – sorry. Does that change your view of me?’
Just then the pizza arrived. Ianto sat down on the sofa with Jack.
‘Jack, kiss me again.’
Jack put his hands on either side of Ianto’s face and pulled him in. Their lips met and Ianto felt the scratchiness of Jack’s stubble on his face. Ianto began to allow his hands to touch Jack as the kiss went on. Jack sucked on his bottom lip and began to run his hands over Ianto’s back. Ianto leaned his head to one side as Jack kissed his neck. Every hair on Ianto’s body stood up. It was like electricity flowing through him. It had been so long since anyone touched him and since he’d touched anyone. He needed more.
‘Jack will you take me to bed. I’ve no idea what I’m doing. I’ve never been with a man before.’
‘Are you sure Ianto?’
‘Yes but can we take things slowly please?’
They went upstairs leaving the pizza unopened. Both sat on the edge of the bed. Ianto was shaking. Jack was worried as it had been a while since he’d been in this situation. He usually tried to stay away from the straight man having a fling but he knew that Ianto was worth it. Ianto surprised Jack by kissing him first. He kissed Jack’s lips and neck and heard Jack moan which spurred him on.
Jack began to undo Ianto’s shirt and as he did he kissed Ianto’s chest as it was exposed – button by button – until his shirt was removed. Ianto undid Jack’s buttons after removing the braces and the shirt came off. He ran his fingers gently over Jack’s chest and around his nipples. Jack moaned quietly as Ianto leant in to run his tongue over them. Quickly boots and socks were removed followed by trousers and boxers. They sat naked looking at each other.
‘And I thought you looked good in a suit. Ianto Jones you are truly beautiful. I knew you would be. Come on get in here with me.’ Jack knew Ianto needed all the reassurance he could get.
He held out his arm and Ianto settled his head onto Jack’s chest. Jack put both arms around him and held him close. The warmth between them burned as skin touched skin. Ianto felt safe, safer than he’d ever felt in his life but also, judging by the way his body was responding, very turned on.
Jack reached over and kissed him again running his tongue along Ianto’s teeth until they parted and he pushed on into Ianto’s mouth. His hands explored Ianto’s back and arse and Ianto found himself tingling all over but uncertain of what to do.
‘I feel like a teenage virgin,’ he said.
‘Well sorry you’re in bed with the wrong man if that’s what you want.’
Ianto laughed and relaxed a bit. Jack moved his hand downwards.
‘Jack I don’t think I’m ready for anything ……….’
‘It’s OK we’ll start with the simple stuff. He kissed his way down Ianto’s chest.
‘Oh God,’ Ianto thought, ‘is he really going to do that? Lisa never would.’
‘Jack I don’t think this will take long.’ And it didn’t.
Jack kissed him again. It was weird as he could taste himself on Jack’s tongue. Jack leaned back on one elbow and looked at him smirking.
‘I think you needed that. Is that the first time you’ve been with anyone since before the accident?’
‘Yes it is and…….. well……… you know……… Bloody hell Jack how do you do that?’
‘Don’t worry Ianto if I have anything to do with it you’ll find out and I’m a very good teacher, even Ofsted have said that. By the way do you think you could give me a hand to deal with this?’ he added looking down.
A hand was something Ianto felt capable of offering with some success.
Jack, breathing heavily, said, ‘you are very sexy without even realising it Mr Jones, come here.’
Jack took Ianto into his arms and held him tight.
‘I’m tired now Jack. You will stay won’t you?’
‘Yes I’ll stay. Why would I go anywhere else?’
As Ianto fell asleep in his arms Jack felt a contentment he hadn’t felt for some time. He’d fallen for this confused and complicated man in a big way.