tiredPairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: Probably NC-17.
Summary: AU. When Ianto Jones was six years old he was chased by wolves while playing in the forest near his home. One of them attacked. A month later Ianto is certain that the wolves have come for him again. His parent's brush it off as child's imagination. The morning after is one Ianto will never forget. Now he must live his life in Torchwood trying to resist his temptations and the things he craves while keeping all of his secrets. Will he cope?
Warnings: Werewolf!Ianto, Dark, Blood, Slash, AU... more? Well, I'll let you know.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this story except for way too active imagination. I'm not RTD or am in anyway associated with the making of Torchwood, if I was a certain series would have gone a lot differently and there would be less of some things and more of others ^^
Chapter rating: R? I don't know, I'm new at this! -.-'
A/N: Okay, I want to stick to timelines but when I did my research I found that the timeline of Torchwood does not match the airing of the Doctor Who episodes concerning Canary Wharf so I decided to not follow the dates of when the episodes were aired and so if something seems a little off, I'm terribly sorry but try not to dwell on it 0=).
Also; I have never been to Cardiff (or Wales for that matter) so I don't know if locations make sense either. If not then sorry about that too.
This is still un-beta'ed.
Prologue
Chapter 1. Penny for Your Past.
Cardiff, 24th of November, 2006.
Ianto stood somewhere deep within the maze that was Tesco. There were not many people around, which was to be expected since it was now 22:45 and the store was about to close. Jack had only let them go half an hour or so ago. It was only Ianto's third day back from the three week suspension and Jack had obviously been torn if he should let Ianto go home or keep him a bit longer and try to talk to him. Thankfully Jack had decided to put their little chat off for another day and Ianto was glad, he wasn't sure if he could take Jack's 'I'm your friend - I'm your boss - I'm someone you can confide in - We're equals, you can tell me anything - I'm your superior and I demand to know the whole story' thing. The man never seemed sure how to act around Ianto- never had. So now was the only chance Ianto had of buying groceries since he usually showed up at work around six.
Ianto walked around grabbing this and that of what he needed; bread, crackers, tea, a little bit of chocolate, etc. He walked past the cleaning supplies (he had newly gone out and bought liters of everything he used) but stopped by the rack next to it. Condoms? Lube?
Seeing the lube made Ianto chuckle (not loudly, of course, he was in the middle of Tesco for crying out loud!) as he took a short trip down memory lane.
It was while he was at Uni in London, working in a petrol station. This guy had walked in (Ianto hadn't seen him come in, though; he was bent down reaching for something he couldn't remember) with hazel eyes and dark brown hair, most likely around thirty-five/thirty-six and quite handsome in a way. Ianto had smiled a polite smile at him. 'You have any lube?' the man had asked, grinning. Ianto had put on his best innocent face and asked in reply 'Is that something for your car, sir?'. They had ended up fucking against the bathroom wall.
Ianto shook himself out of the reverie and grabbed both lube and condoms -just to be safe. He calculated in his head and knew he would have to grab some meat before heading out, if he was to survive until he could go hunting next without arising suspicion. That was the last thing he needed.
One last look over the groceries in his basket and Ianto decided he was satisfied and he had everything he needed.
------~*~--------
Jack was having second thoughts as he pulled up in front of the big house. How come he didn't know Ianto lived so far away from the Hub? Considering how early the man arrived at the Hub, you'd think he lived on the Plass! But this house was large and sort of reminded Jack of Torchwood House (on a smaller scale though), there was just something about it. A feeling he got.
Anyhow, this was just stupid. It was almost twelve thirty! Surely Ianto must be in bed by now? Nope, the lights in the house were on. Ianto was definitely up, he'd never leave the lights on. But was he up for a talk now? Maybe he should just turn around and do this tomorrow? No, if he try to put it off - again - he would just back out - again - and end up never doing it. Jack hated the way he never knew how to act around Ianto; it was like the boy had some sort of power over Jack, making him constantly unsure if he was reacting the correct way. Even the couple of times Ianto had sucked him off, Jack had felt unsure of himself, and Jack never felt unsure of himself when it came to this sort of things. Suddenly fueled with energy Jack forced himself to get out of the SUV and walk towards the house.
Jack knocked on the wooden (oak) door. No answer. Jack knocked again, this time more forcefully. No answer. "Ianto?" Jack called through the door. So he knocked again and called for the young man once more. Once again there was no answer. Now Jack was starting to get really worried, picturing all sort of horrible scenarios. Ianto wouldn't... would he? Ianto had seemed fine these past few days, Jack hadn't noticed anything in the mans behavior that would indicate he had any plans of taking his own life. Then again that same man had successfully hidden a partly-converted Cyberman in Jack's basement. Yeah, Jack wasn't really going to take that risk.
Jack reached into the pocket of his greatcoat and dug out a copy of Ianto's keys. He wasn't sure that the younger man was aware that Jack had keys to his house but in case of an emergency Jack knew it would be wise to have a copy to each and every one of his employees' flats. It didn't take long for Jack to find Ianto's key amongst the massive collection on the keychain, not only was it clearly marked with a big black 'I', but it was also very uniquely designed. Jack hurriedly inserted the key in the lock and opened the door.
Jack had barely closed the door behind him when he heard a very strange sound. The sight that greeted him was the biggest dog Jack had ever seen! That was an exaggeration since Jack had encountered the canines on Gastolone 4 who were five meters tall. But this dog was fucking huge. Its white and brown fluffy coat and white face were covered in faint scars and it was bearing its teeth and growling at him. Its growl got even louder and it barked loudly three times. Jack's heart was thumping loudly in his chest and he had to admit he was frightened. Of course it wasn't like he could die or anything but still- being eaten alive was not a terribly painful way to die.
"Penny!"
Jack's train of thoughts was interrupted by a scowling Ianto. The dog - Penny, apparently - shut up immediately and made a sort of whimpering sound but stayed where she was. Jack looked away from the dog and towards its owner. And holy cow, was he looking hot!
Ianto was dressed in a tight white T-shirt and black running nylon trousers that hugged Ianto's thighs and widened around his legs. Jack was wishing that he'd turn around so Jack could see his arse when Ianto cleared his throat. He'd been caught staring. Oops.
"What are you doing here Jack?" Ianto asked with a frown on his face. Jack noted that Ianto had called him Jack instead of Sir.
"Um..." Jack began pathetically. Again Jack could feel this uncertainty settling around him. He cleared his throat and continued "Well, you weren't answering the door and all the lights were on, so I knew you weren't sleeping and so when you didn't answer--"
"You just decided to let yourself in?" Ianto cut him off.
Jack's face hardened a little. "Well, I was afraid... something had... happened to you."
"Killed myself, you mean? Have I given you any reason to think I would?" Ianto didn't give Jack a chance to answer the first question - didn't have to, they both knew the answer. Ianto looked not to pleased.
"No, you haven't, but after what happened just a month ago I realized just how skilled you are at hiding things" Jack's voice had lowered.
Ianto with his not-amused face decided to waste his breath defending himself (partly because he knew Jack was right). "Why are you here?"
Jack sighed and his squared shoulders slumped a little. "I came here to talk to you." Jack looked Ianto in the eyes, blue meeting blue, as his voice softened.
"Jack, it's almost midnight!" Ianto said incredulously and looked at Jack as if he was mental.
"Yeah, well, you don't look like you were sleeping - or about to go to bed" he added as he took in Ianto's outfit once more who rolled his eyes. "Why didn't you answer the door anyway and why are you dressed like that?" Once again he took the opportunity to drink in Ianto's appearance.
Ianto held up his iPod for Jack to see. "I was listening to music and I was in my bedroom, it's upstairs in the other end of the house so I barely even hear it when there's nothing plugged into my ears." Jack's felt a tingling sensation in his stomach when Ianto spoke of his bedroom. Jack mentally slapped himself and told himself to keep it together for fucking out loud! "As for the outfit" Ianto continued "I was just about to go out for a run with Penny." Jack had completely forgotten the huge dog in the room. What was it with that man?!
"A run? At midnight?" Jack exclaimed once he recovered a second later.
"Well, yeah, Penny needs her daily exercise and I just got home" Ianto said. Jack felt a little guilty. He had really just let his team go home but he maybe would have let Ianto go home sooner if he knew he had a dog, which, of course, was another reason for Jack to feel guilty; he had never asked, just like Ianto had accused him of. "So, I would appreciate it if you could put off our little talk until tomorrow and let me take Penny out for a run."
Jack knew he was being dismissed but he was not letting Ianto get away so easily. Jack had just realized that he did know very little about his youngest employee and he swore to himself that that would change. So as Ianto walked past him towards the door Jack spoke up "You mind if I come running with you?" Ianto's fake smile dropped. Did he really hate him that much. Jack put his hands on his hips and raised both his eyebrows waited for Ianto's answer. He looked like he was caught between a rock and a hard place.
He sighed. "Yeah, okay, fine. Sure." Jack almost chuckled at the quadruple answer he received. "But I must warn you; we're pretty fast runners." He grinned.
Jack's also grinned and said "I'm a pretty fast runner myself. I don't think I'll have much trouble keeping up with you" he winked.
Ianto chuckled softly and raised an eyebrow. "You gonna run in that?" gesturing with his eyes at Jack's greatcoat, shirt and trousers.
"I do when I'm catching Weevils."
"Believe me, Captain," Ianto smirked "this is nothing like Weevil-hunting."
-----~*~-------
They stepped out of the house ten minutes later; Ianto in his running gear, Penny at his right side (she was still weary of Jack), and Jack at his right dressed in a little wider, black T-shirt (which still was tight on him since Ianto was slimmer that Jack) and grey sweatpants. Ianto took a moment to drink in the Captain's outfit. Smirking a little he said "Okay, Captain, here's how it goes: We start by jogging about thirty meters, then we run until we reach this little river or brook -it's somewhere around 6 kilometers from here- so Penny can have a little drink and we'll wait for you there, we then turn around and jog about twenty meters and then run our way back home. Kay?"
Jack was staring at him wide eyed. "You run twelve kilometers every single night?"
"No, we usually run a little further but... I wouldn't want to tire you out just yet." Jack raised an eyebrow. "So, you up for it?"
"Uh, yeah."
"Alright, so let's go." With that Ianto started jogging and Penny running alongside him. Jack was almost running, trying to keep up with them.
A while later Ianto looked at him and asked "you ready for the running?"
"If that's what you call jogging than I don't know how the hell I'm going to keep up with you, but, sure." Jack was a little out of breath already.
Ianto chuckled softly. Jack noted that his breath was nothing out of the ordinary. "Alrighty, ready? 1, 2, 3, go." Both Ianto and Penny sprinted off immediately. Jack was legging it and legging it but no way in hell was he going to keep up with them! Ianto was running so fast it was almost unnatural. Even the dog was trying hard to keep up with him. As they got further Jack watched the dog and its Master get smaller and smaller as they ran away from him.
An eternity later Jack could hear the sound of running water. Finally! Two minutes later, Jack saw Ianto sitting on the grass, his feet crossed and leaning on his hands that were positioned behind him. His head was thrown back as he breathed in the cool night air. Ianto bathed in moonlight was a beautiful sight, was Jack's last thought before he collapsed from exhaustion next to Ianto.
"You alright?" Jack opened his eyes and looked up at the concerned face of Ianto.
Jack just nodded, 'cause that was all he could manage. "D'you think you can survive the way back?" Ianto asked. There was no trace of mockery or humor in his voice, it was just a simple question with a little bit of worry thrown in if anything. Jack nodded a little and held up his index finger as if saying 'yeah, just give me a minute'. Ianto nodded in understanding.
Jack could hear fast and heavy panting next to him. Penny lay down by the riverbank, tongue lying limp out of her mouth and she seemed just as out of breath as Jack himself was. Jack considered that to be a good thing. Once again, Ianto was not at all out of breath. Jack frowned.
"Do you want some water?"
"Yeah, please" Jack's voice was cracked and hoarse. Ianto slipped his hand under Jack's back and lifted him up in a sitting position. He handed Jack a cup full of water. Where the hell had that come from? He raised a questioning eyebrow at Ianto who pointed at the little black bag around his waist. "Figured you would need it, grabbed it while you were dressing. I've also got sort of 'dog first aid kit' in there. I wear this every time we go out running." He said and smiled at Jack.
Five minutes later and they were off again, but (at Jack's request) they 'jogged' forty-five meters instead of twenty. They then sprinted back to Ianto's house. "Let yourself in when you get home!" Ianto had called to him before he and his dog disappeared completely. And so Jack did.
"Wh-what are you Ianto Jones?" He asked after he had collapsed from exhaustion (again) on the end Ianto's sofa. Ianto, who had been standing beside the sofa, sat down at the other end.
"What do you mean?" Ianto asked innocently. There was no way Jack knew what Ianto was. No, if the Captain knew what Ianto was he wouldn't be sitting there beside him, starting a conversation.
Before Jack could answer, he heard a growl beside him. He turned his head sideways to see Penny growling (not bearing her teeth this time, though) at him.
"Hush, Penny, come here" Ianto beckoned her over speaking to her as if she were a child that had used their mother's make-up. The dog stopped growling and walked over to Ianto. Ianto petted her head, scratched behind her ears before burying his face in the fur next to her ear. It was muffled but Jack could hear Ianto say to Penny "it's okay, girl. Jack's not here to hurt me. He's good." To Jack's surprise the dog visibly relaxed. Ianto lifted his head up and looked her in the eyes. "Now, go apologize" he said softly but firmly.
The dog then walked over to Jack who couldn't help but look wide-eyed at her as she nudged one of Jack's hands with her muzzle. He stared at Ianto with the same look. "What are you, some sort of dog whisperer?"
He chuckled. "You could say that" he muttered to himself. He patted on the spot beside him and Penny jumped up on the couch. She looked at Ianto with a sort of indecisive look and he rolled his head in Jack's direction. The dog then turned around to face Jack and laid down (there was barely enough space for her to squeeze between the two men) and put her head in Jack's lap.
"She is enormous. What kind of dog is she?" Jack asked as he laid a hesitant hand on her head and started stroking her.
"I'm not sure. She definitely has some Pyrenean Mountain Dog in her and maybe some Leonberger but I don't know. Even compared to what I've read about those breeds, she's pretty large" he frowned.
"Where did you find her?"
"I didn't. She found me. Or maybe we found each other." He chuckled. "We sort of just ran into each other. It was five days after..." he cleared his throat "after my suspension. Her scars?" Jack nodded and looked them over. Over her eye, a little above her nose, on her ear, around her neck. "Yeah, previous owners. She's a very smart dog. The scar around her neck? They had her bound for some time and she was constantly trying to get free and so instead of pulling on it she backed up so instead of the collar choking her or slicing her throat, the collar broke at the back of her neck. Painful, but not fatal. So I never make her wear a collar. Don't see why I should. I mean, I've never put a collar around my best friend's neck. Well I did," Jack looked up at that, surprised, but Ianto was just looking at his fingers as he threaded them through Penny's fur. Jack could easily picture Ianto having kinky bondage sex. "But that was just the one time." He sighed. "We were both lonely and sad and we just took care of one another."
"Speaking of your suspension, you don't really look like you want to watch me suffer and die" Jack regretted saying it the moment it escaped his mouth. Ianto's sweet smile fell.
"Three weeks doing nothing gives one a terrible lot of time to think. It didn't take me very long to realize that it wasn't your fault. And I am sorry for saying that, I didn't really mean it. I was beyond furious, and I was scared and desperate and vulnerable and... well, lonely, I suppose. Since Lisa died I don't really have anyone... except for Parker, I guess." Ianto swallowed past the lump in his throat.
"Parker?"
"Yeah, Parker Andrews, my best friend. We met in London while I was at Uni. He was the one to get me a job there, actually." He frowned.
Ianto had shared more of his past with Jack in the past few minutes than he had since Jack had met him. It both made Jack feel guilty but still intrigued him, made him want to know more. "He worked at One, then?" Ianto nodded. Then Jack realized something. "Why do you just guess you have him?" They locked eyes.
"We don't see each other very often anymore, his..." he cleared his throat "his, um, family doesn't really like his relationship with me. Don't really like me." Ianto smiled sadly at Jack "or anyone like me, really. Which is odd, since I've known them now for four years and they have never been anything but friendly to me - in person - but, you know..." Ianto trailed off.
"Anyone 'like you'? What's that supposed to mean?" Jack frowned at Ianto who looked like he had just said something he really shouldn't have.
He cleared his throat (he seemed to be doing that a lot) and stood up, causing Penny (who had apparently fallen asleep) to wake. "Why am I telling you this?" he chuckled humorlessly and headed towards the kitchen. Penny jumped off the couch and followed Ianto. So did Jack.
Ianto was pouring himself some milk. "You okay?" Jack asked.
"Yup, I'm okay. It's just... I'm not much of a talker, especially not about my past. One of the reasons me and Lisa were good together; she talked while I listened." Ianto turned around to face Jack, leaning against the cupboards. He glanced shortly at Jack before dropping his gaze down and staring into his milk as he swirled the white liquid in the glass.
"Opposites attract, right?"
Ianto's lips turned upwards a bit at that. "That they do."
Jack walked towards Ianto and put a hand on his shoulder. Ianto looked at Jack with big blue eyes. He looked so young. "Listen, Ianto, if you ever need to talk... I'll listen. I know it may not always seem like it, but I can shut my mouth once in a while and listen." Jack smiled and Ianto chuckled. Jack let go of Ianto's shoulder.
"Thanks. And you're welcome to come running with Penny and me sometime again."
"Ianto Jones, are you trying to give me a heart attack?" Jack faked a look of horror.
"Nope, just trying to get you into shape and then maybe you'll be able to almost keep up with me" Ianto said and smiled. He knew it wasn't possible, though.
"Speaking of; how come you didn't ask me to be a field agent? We could really use you out there." Jack had been seriously impressed with the young man.
"Jack, you wouldn't even let me in as a janitor until a pterodactyl dropped you on top of me. Besides, I wanted to attract as little attention as I could get away with."
"What about now? You're still with us. Wanna become a field agent?" Jack asked smiling.
Ianto looked at Jack seriously and said "I don't think I'd be good in the field." It was way too risky. The chases could cause him to loose control at anytime. He was not risking it.
Jack's face was also serious now. "What d'you mean?"
"Just that; I would not be good out there." He finished his milk in one gulp and put it in the sink. Way too risky. If he transformed while he was angry or scared or anything like that he was much likelier to loose control of himself. He could possibly hurt (or even kill) his teammates. He would never be able to live with that; knowing that just because he had been careless or lost control for a moment he had caused the death of his almost-friends. No, he was too young to take that risk.
Jack looked him in the eye, a frown on his face. He then brought his wrist up and checked the time. His eyes widened. "Shit. It's really late. I should get back to the Hub." He had started walking out of the kitchen when he realized he was still wearing Ianto's clothes. "Um, s'pose you want these back, right?" He chuckled. So did Ianto.
"Yeah, just leave them on the bed, I'll take care of them" he said and smiled. Jack sprinted upstairs into Ianto's guest-room where he had gotten dressed hours ago.
Ianto sighed. Was this a big mistake, telling Jack so much? Possibly. Should he maybe tell him the whole truth? Definitely not. He sighed again. Why were things so complicated? Was it really wrong of him to lust after this man so shortly after he had lost Lisa? Ianto knew that somewhere deep within he had known it was a lost cause and Lisa had been lost at Canary Wharf but he had slapped and kicked that part of himself and tucked it somewhere within the remote corners of his mind.
Jack came back a few minutes later dressed in his regular attire. The only thing a little out of place was his hair; the sweat had plastered it to his forehead.
"I'm sorry, I've kept you up all night. Promise me not to come to work until you've had some sleep?" Jack said as he adjusted the collar of his jacket.
"As long as you give me a promise in return?" Jack raised a questioning eyebrow "that you, too, will sleep."
Jack grinned. "It's a deal then." Ianto smiled back at him and walked Jack over to the door.
"See you in a few hours then, Captain."
"See ya" he said and walked out and winked at Ianto before he closed the door.
Ianto sighed. "S'pose I could lie down for some time, eh?" He said and met Penny's eyes who was sitting by the sofa. "You coming to bed?" She immediately stood up and jumped up the stairs. "Thought so" Ianto said after he laughed a little at the dog's enthusiasm and followed her up the stairs. He stopped by the guest room and picked up the clothes he had loaned Jack. He went back downstairs again and put them into the washing machine before turning it on.
When Ianto entered his own bedroom Penny was already lying on the end of the king-sized bed. He undressed and kissed the top of her head and bade her good night before crawling under the duvet and closing his eyes.
Ianto was not able to keep his promise to Jack.
________________________________________
A/N: This chapter was not supposed to go like this!! O.O I apparently have no control over my fingers since this whole chapter was supposed to be a small scene in this chapter. This chapter was supposed to take place around 'Small Worlds' but no. Next chapter then, eh?
Anyway, sorry if this chapter seems a little odd and confusing but I wrote this partly yesterday in my lunch-break and then when I got home from 'work' and finished it now after a sleepover at a friend's house.
Please tell me what you think and if there's anything I could improve =) Reviews do make me write faster, it's some sort of an energy-booster :'D
-SF