TITLE: YOU DON’T HAVE TO SAY YOU LOVE ME
CHARACTERS: JACK-IANTO, mentioned Tosh, Owen, Gwen.
SUMMARY: A reflection of Ianto in his last moment.
DISCLAIMER: They don’t belong to me, I’m not making money with this story. I don’t own the song, the characters, the ideas, I just love them.
NOTE: This Sunday it started again the third season of Torchwood on TV. I felt so miserable that when I realized I had written this, while I was listening to this beautiful song by Dusty Springfield. I apologize if I accidentally steal someone’s ideas, the tears don’t let me think clearly. Sorry, jsks, the fic in which I give my gratitude has gone so sad, but thanks for giving me my second comment.
You Don't Have To Say You Love Me
Ianto was thinking "Oh, it was certainly not an urban legend, when we are dying, your whole life passes by. But what is weird is that the life I'm seeing, it begins with you Jack and now, it’s ending with you here, by my side. That's my life, I remember when we met, you don’t want me in your team, I had to beg you to let me work with you. Since that day, I remember my heart started beating at different rates. I remember when I betrayed you and told you many things, but you forgave me. I was already madly in love with you.
You know, sometimes I felt my life was like a Latin soap opera. I’m in love with my boss, being the maid of the house, actually the hub, secretly wanting him to love me back. But I had to take the first step and you want me too, I went from Cinderella to be your ... I don’t know, well, that we could never defineit. When I said, I needed you, You said you would always stay.
And then one day you left. It wasn't me who changed, but you. And now you've gone away.
That was the worst part of my life, being without you. Don't you see that now you've gone, And I'm left here on my own, That I have to follow you, And beg you to come home?
But you came back, you came back for me. Then I realized how much I needed and loved you and I don’t really care if you never told me the same, even I wanted to hear it.You don't have to say you love me. Just be close at hand. You don't have to stay forever, I will understand. Believe me, believe me.
The rest of the world ceased to be important for me, my entire life was you. My fantasies revolved around you, my home, my family, it was you. Sometimes I dreamed that you and I were a couple, especially when you were berating Owen and Tosh for something and I just stood there besides you, as if you were their father, they our children and I... by your side leaning. They said when you die you are going to be with your friends, I hope I can meet with them, who were expecting me happy. That's something I can’t do with you ever, you can’t die. That sucks.
Gwen is another story, I love her, but I was always had a lot of jealousy for her. When you were flirting with her, my heart broke, but I always remained silent. Even now I feel jealous, just thinking I'm going to leave you and she will be there with you. I can't help but love you. But believe me, I'll never tie you down. But I never claim, despite all your past lovers, men, women, aliens, things, all your flirting, I have always loved you in silence and I can swear that I didn’t care.
But now I’m failing you. I have failed you, I'm leaving you alone and I know how much you need me. You had my naked body in your arms, I think the only way you can forgive me now is baring my soul to you, too, that there were no more secrets between us so I have to say it "I love you”. Left alone with just a memory, Life seems dead and so unreal. All that's left is loneliness. There's nothing left to feel.
You don’t need to say it back, my whole life of sacrifice, of loving you without asking for anything, now has its rewards. It was worth all my life with you, for now, that I’m dying in your arms. You don't have to say you love me. Just be close at hand. You don't have to stay forever, I will understand. Believe me, believe me.
“Yo que ni un momento puedo estar lejos de ti,
Cómo soportar la vida entera ya sin ti.
Te quiero, te quiero
Te quiero, te quiero.”