Title: WHAT THE DOCTOR ORDERED
Characters: Jack-Ianto, Tosh, Owen, Gwen, mentioned Rhys.
Summary: The love story in the desert continues, thanks to the spicy food, even with Owen’s advice.
Rated: PG 14
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, the characters, music, anything, I just like to write about it. I like to write because I like to dream. I’m not making money whith this fic.
Note: This is another Ianto’s silly dream. I was reading again "Pack Animals" and a paragraph made me laugh, I quote "Come on, Ianto, get a move on,” said Jack Harkness. He wriggled in the driver’s seat of the SUV. “My ass is going to sleep here.” “I know,” muttered Ianto Jones. “I heard it snoring”.
WHAT THE DOCTOR ORDERED
Gwen had finished talking on the phone "Are you hungry, guys?? Rhys told me that he got us a table at this new Moroccan restaurant" Ianto replied, "Moroccan?? I've heard they make a delicious lamb" Jack looked at him intently, "Yan, you have to remember that spicy food affects you. Then you have these crazy dreams”. Ianto blushed. The girls giggled, Owen snorted. Tosh felt very curious "What do you dream?" Ianto blushed even more "Nothing". Jack couldn’t contain his laughter, "He dreams that he’s dancing belly dance" everybody laughed. Ianto was angry "Not funny". Owen said "Teaboy, it must be the spices, they will produce you a lot of gas and that will cause you the nightmares. I think I have the solution to your problem" The doctor came running to the autopsy room and returned with a bubbling glass. "Drink this," Ianto raised an eyebrow "What is it??" "A medicine to end with your problems. Don’t be afraid. You just do what the doctor ordered. Drink” Ianto drank and made a face of disgust "This tastes like rubbish". Owen didn’t flinch "With this medicament, two or three farts and you'll be like new" Ianto blushed again, "Oi, Owen" "What??? You don’t fart??" The girls began to laugh softly. "Now that you say it, I've never heard Ianto f…" "Jack, please" Ianto begged. Jack continued talking "It’s true, cause I f…" "Yes, with yours is enough for the two of us". Now, the other three were laughing out loud. "Oh my God. Please go now to dinner. I can’t eat if we continue with this issue" said Tosh wiping her tears. "Yeah, come on, guys. Rhys is waiting for us" Gwen added.
After much spicy food, Jack and Ianto went to Ianto’s flat were they had a sexual encounter that would have made blush a porn film and were sleeping soundly.
Iantook was sat on a dune, with Ma-fan-we on his shoulders, taking the Sun.
Jackdish saw them and went to sit next to them. "My beloved Iantook, an old friend is coming to visit us. I want you to look beautiful this evening.” Iantook looked at him lovingly "As you wish, Sahib". Jackdish kissed him. “He’s Egyptian, his name is John-Amed and he’s a camel’s merchant”. They were talking a while and they went to their tent. Iantook dressed in their finest attire for the evening. Jackdish was so proud of Iantook, he was so beatiful and this time, he looked really amazing, his clothing was made of red silk, the color really suited him very well.
When Jackdish’s friend arrived, he gasped when he met Iantook "Hello beautiful boy, you really are a date candy to the eye." Iantook blushed and Jackdish felt a little jealous. The two men began to talk about business and Iantook began to feel a little boring. Jackdish said, "My little one, please dance for us" John-Ahmed added "Yes, date candy, I'm dying to see you dance" The musicians started playing a quick tune and Iantook began to dance.
Jack felt he was beaten on the back "Yan?" When he turned to Ianto, he gave a blow to Jack’s nose. "Ianto" Ianto woke up suddenly. "Jack, what happens???" He turned on the light and looked at Jack. "I think you broke my nose." "Oh, cariad, I'm sorry" Jack was sore "You were dreaming, I told you not to eat spicy food. I bet you didn’t follow Owen’s advice. You're so glamorous and picky that you can’t throw a fart" Ianto blushed "I did" Jack smirked "I think it didn’t work" Ianto said, "I promise not to eat spicy food ever again. I don’t want to hurt you" Jack looked at him "What were you dancing this time???" Ianto became even reder "Walk like an Egyptian" by The Bangles."
“All the Japanese with their yen
The party boys call the Kremlin
And the Chinese know (oh whey oh)
They walk the line like Egyptian”