niemalj (niemalj) wrote in jackxianto,

The Ground Rules

  1. Base it on common interests

    During your initial meeting with a girl, try to discover her passions, interests, and hobbies while sharing yours, too. It makes it a hell of a lot easier to come up with a date idea that is fun and relevant to both parties. You can always introduce her to something new, but if you both love singing, why not go to karaoke night?

  2. Don’t overspend

    I’m all for treating a girl to a fancy night out, but it’s not usually the best way to start. Going overboard can put a lot of pressure on the evening and scare a girl away. You come off too strong, too soon and convey the wrong message. You’re trying to buy her affection rather than let her experience it naturally.

    And expensive gifts like a dozen long stem roses or $150 bottles of wine are unnecessary. Just bring yourself, it’s all you need to win her over.

  3. Keep it simple

    Nothing kills the mood like waiting in bumper-to-bumper traffic. Or driving in endless circles to find parking. Or waiting outside the bar for an hour. Be reasonable and make the date as painless as possible.

    Don’t make her drive thirty miles to see you — meet her at least half-way or closer to her house. On the same note, don’t plan for somewhere you’re going to get lost and end up late. Simple is the best choice, save the elaborate plans for future meetings.

  4. Encourage conversation

    A date should be an experience that facilitates communicating and getting to know each other. That’s why I don’t generally recommend movie dates. Can they work? Yes, but they’re not the ideal situation. They force you to be quiet next to one another when the date should be all about the interaction between you.

    You want to flirt, laugh, and build the romantic tension. It’s much harder to do that when you’re silent and staring at a screen. Choose dates that provide opportunities to converse freely and frequently.

  5. Make it one-on-one

    I know it’s easier to ask her to go out with you and your friends, but first dates should be spent with just the two of you. You’re much more likely to create a personal, intimate connection without other people around. You’ll make your intentions clear and set the right tone.

    Many girls won’t be comfortable flirting or getting physical on a first date with people watching. It goes back to “keep it low pressure.” You don’t want her feeling judged or have to deal with a bunch of new faces. Your friends will understand.


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