Disclaimers: I don’t own Torchwood.
Warning: mentions of torture, death, sex, grieving, curse words, all that stuff.
Ianto hated the days that the maid would tell him a secret. It only meant one thing. Torture training with Jason. He tried not to shake as he nodded at the elderly woman and walked away. Did she know what it meant every time she told him something Jason had instructed her to? Did she know what Ianto would be enduring the moment she walked out the door?
Ianto went to the second floor of the Sim’s mansion to his room. How long would it be till he was able to see it again? His first torture training lesson had only lasted 4 hours and Jason had said he was surprised it had lasted that long. Jason had used all of Ianto’s pressure points against him that first time, but Ianto had held on to the secret the maid had given him. He had felt a need to make Jason proud.
At Ianto’s second training session he was beyond pissed at Jason for messing with his coffee machine. So Ianto had told the man the secret the moment he was tied to a chair. That had been a mistake. Jason had shown Ianto what solitary confinement was like, leaving the boy in the basement for nearly a month. Ianto always tried to keep the secret for as long as possible after that.
Ianto looked around his room. His full bed was made with the crimson bedding Jason had chosen for him. He could see all his suits, t-shirts, and blue jeans hanging in the open wardrobe, all Jason approved. The bookshelves were filled with pictures of Jason and him. Ianto picked up his favorite one. It depicted Jason with his arms securely around Ianto holding him close seeming to be protecting him from the world. Ianto felt like Jason could protect him from anything and anyone except Jason himself.
“Ianto,” said a voice in the door way. Ianto turned to see Jason.
“Yes, sir,” Ianto said softly trying not to show his anxiety.
“Training is canceled. I know Tangwen already told you the secret but…” Jason said then seemed to trail off.
“What is it,” Ianto asked narrowing his eyebrows.
“Your Tad died this morning,” Jason said.
Ianto was taken aback for a moment. He looked over to his bedside table where a cell phone his Mum had given him still sat. He was supposed to call his Tad with it, but he didn’t know what to say to the man. Now he would never be able to say anything.
Ianto steeled his features then looked back at Jason. “And that’s reason enough to cancel my training, sir?” Ianto said.
Jason narrowed his eyes. “You have to grieve,” he stated.
“According to you I am going to lose every one so why should I waste my time with tears, sir,” Ianto said his voice remaining calm.
“Because you don’t want to end up like me,” Jason said then left the room closing the door behind him.
Ianto woke up with a start. He was drenched in sweat and someone was holding him close. That only sent him into more of a panicked state. He had been held down in his dream.
“Let me go, I am awake let me go,” he cried. Jack released him. Ianto jumped off the bed and thrust his boxers on. He tried to calm his breathing as he began to gather his clothing.
“What was your dream about,” Jack asked.
“Fuck off,” Ianto said not about to talk to Jack about his nightmares like he was a child.
Jack grabbed Ianto’s upper arm all the clothing Ianto had managed to gather fell back to the floor.
“You don’t have a choice anymore about what you share with me, what was the dream about!” Jack demanded.
Ianto attempted to pull his arm out of Jack’s grip but was unsuccessful.
“Please don’t make me tell you Jack,” Ianto begged.
Jack pulled Ianto closer then wrapped an arm around his lower back. He leaned his head to the Welshman’s ear. “They say it helps if you talk about it,” he whispered the hand on Ianto’s back sliding under the waistband of Ianto’s boxers.
“I will tell Jason then,” Ianto said bluntly.
Jack released Ianto. Ianto began to gather his clothing again. Once it was all in his arms he turned and looked at the ladder. There was no way he was going to make it up there holding all his clothing and his shoes. He grabbed one shoe and threw it in to Jack’s office, then listened, no crash, good. He tossed the second shoe.
“Oi!” Owen’s voice shouted.
Ianto looked over at Jack. “What time is it?” he asked.
“7:30. Seems Owen is here early,” Jack said he sounded angry.
Ianto narrowed his eyes. “What do you want me to do Jack, confined in you, the man who let a pterodactyl tear apart my girlfriend! I think I have already shamed her memory enough.” Ianto snapped then headed up the ladder before Jack could comment.
Ianto crawled to his feet out of Jack’s bunker to find Owen leaning against the doorframe of Jack’s office.
“Good morning,” Owen said with fake cheer, “did you sleep well?”
“Yes, actually now that you mention it,” Ianto said with clear sarcasm as Jack joined them in the office.
“Ianto, go to the medical bay. Daddy and I need to have a chat. A loud one,” Owen said glaring at Jack.
Ianto just wanted to get away from both men so he didn’t argue. As he entered the medical bay he started to hear the yelling.
“I gave you one fucking rule Harkness,” Owen yelled.
Then Jack yelled back, “I’m the boss you can’t tell me what to do!”
“When it has to do with the health of a team member I out rank you,” Owen screamed then Ianto heard Jack’s office door close and the words became hard to understand.
Ianto didn’t know what to do now that he was standing in the medical bay in just his boxers. He looked down at the wrinkled suit in his hands. Nope, Ianto Jones didn’t wear wrinkled suits no matter how cold it was in the hub.
Ianto noticed that Owen had set up a medical tray with a few supplies. A small paper cup filled with water, a smaller cup holding pills, alcohol wipes, a few band aids, and some triple antibacterial ointment. Ianto instinctively touched the small scrapes on his face. They looked nothing like the scar that was on his future self’s cheek. He had sighed in relief when he had been able to properly see them last night after his shower.
“You could have gotten dressed,” Owen’s said as he joined Ianto in the medical bay.
“Suit’s wrinkled,” Ianto said as if that was reason enough to still be basically naked.
Owen rolled his eyes. “Right, get up on the table,” he said.
Ianto sat on the end of the autopsy table. Owen handed him the cup of water and the cup of medication.
“Take these,” Owen demanded.
Ianto took them without complaint. Owen placed a hand on Ianto’s forehead.
“What are you doing?” Ianto complained.
“Checking for a fever, sometimes high fevers make people not act their selves, and you just took that medication without whining,” Owen teased.
“Ha Ha,” Ianto said, “Barrel of laughs, you.”
Owen smiled as he began to peel off the old band aids on Ianto’s cheek.
“So you going to yell at me to then?” Ianto asked resisting the urge to tell Owen he could change his own band aids.
“Na, why would I,” Owen said throwing the soiled bandages into the trash and grabbing the triple antibacterial ointment along with a cotton swab.
“Because I slept with Jack,” Ianto said as Owen put the ointment on his cuts.
“Did you,” Owen said playing dumb.
Ianto huffed. Owen put new band aids over the cuts, and then took a step back. He smiled at Ianto then frowned when his eyes landed on the bite mark on the Welshman’s shoulder. Ianto flinched as Owen ran his fingers lightly over the mark.
“Barely broke the skin, still it’s going to be bruised for a while,” Owen said softly then let his hand fall too just above Ianto’s elbow. “No one can tell you how to grieve, but make sure that you do,” the doctor added somberly.
“Okay, well I brought you a suit from your flat. It is in your locker, wrinkle free promise. I am going to release the suicide watch for the time being. Just to warn you I took all your harmful materials from your flat, you know knifes, guns, dental floss. I am ordering you to have two weeks of medical leave and then you can return to work.” Owen explained.
“Jack said I would still be held here even after you released the suicide watch,” Ianto said confused.
“Well Jack can suck it,” Owen said simply as he began to head up the stairs. “Now go shower and get dressed. Then I will take you to breakfast then to your flat.”
Ianto emerged from his shower to find Tosh typing vigorously on her computer and Gwen sitting on the couch looking towards Jack’s office with a worried expression. Ianto could once again hear the raised voices of Jack and Owen.
“They’re fighting because of you,” Gwen said nodding towards Ianto. Tosh stopped typing.
“Yes, well they never fought before did they,” Ianto said sarcastically.
“This isn’t funny,” Gwen snapped.
Ianto narrowed his eyes. “I am aware of how unfunny this is being as they are fighting over my fate,” he growled at Gwen.
“Ianto,” Tosh said softly. Ianto turned and looked at her. “I’m sorry,” she continued.
Ianto gave her a tiny smile. “You didn’t do anything,” he said.
“No, I left last night even though Owen wanted two people to stay,” Tosh said sounding ashamed.
“You did,” Ianto said with mock disappointment, “to make up for that you should remove this little thing for me.” he gestured to the bracelet Jack had given him.
“No can do,” Tosh laughed.
“Are you sure,” Ianto said taking a step closer to her, “I am sure together we could make it all the way to Newport before Jack caught us.”
“As fun as that sounds I am going to pass,” Tosh said with a wink just as Jacks office door opened.
Jack marched straight to Ianto and grabbed his wrist. Ianto felt pure anger rush through him. He knew it wasn’t his so he tried to fight it off. Jack pulled back the sleeve of Ianto’s jacket.
“Keep your arm up,” Jack demanded then he let go of Ianto’s arm and held up his wrist strap. He pushed in a few buttons then looked up at Ianto. “You can drop it now,” he said Ianto dropped his arm. “You are not to go more than 5 kilometers away from your flat, and you are not allowed to leave your flat without checking with me in the first place. Disobey me and you will find yourself in a cell next to the weevil. Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir,” Ianto said trying to not seem scared.
“Good, go with Owen,” Jack said then turned and went back to his office but stopped short of his door and said, “Someone will bring you lunch at noon, and dinner at 8.”
As Owen pulled up to Ianto’s flat after breakfast he was happy to see it.
“Am I allowed to have mates over,” Ianto asked as Owen parked the blue sports car.
“Sure,” Owen said with a shrug as he undid his seat belt.
“Are you coming in,” Ianto said with a raised eyebrow.
“Yep, Jack wants me to put a monitoring device on your door, so he can know when it’s opened. Sorry.” Owen said opening the car door and getting out.
Ianto got out of the car and followed Owen up into his flat. It looked to Ianto like he had been robbed.
“You could have tried not to make such a mess,” Ianto said looking at Owen who was attaching something to his door.
“Sorry about that mate,” Owen said. He pressed a button on what was obviously alien technology then closed the front door.
“What if someone comes to the door, or I need to check my mail, or there is a fire,” Ianto said.
“You can still open the door, just expect a call from Jack if you do, better to call him before you open it,” Owen said with raised eyebrows.
“I could always just go out the window,” Ianto said under his breath.
“You could but know that all weevils snore,” Owen said then headed to leave, “like Jack said someone will be here at noon with your lunch.”
Ianto nodded and sat heavily on his couch as he watched the doctor retreat out his front door. He wondered if Jason would casually come by. If he would risk it, Ianto was sure his future self would have told Jason everything that happened by now.
With a sigh Ianto lay down on the couch and looked towards his telly. Sitting out of place on the entertainment center was a 4x6 frame housing a picture of him and Lisa. Ianto felt fresh tears spring to his eyes. He was going to miss her so much. If she were here with him they would be watching some chick flick that Ianto would pretend to hate though in reality he would really like it. They would talk about their futures, expressing fears they both shared. Ianto began to silently sob in to his couch pillow until he fell asleep.
2001 (Two months after Ianto’s father’s death)
Ianto knocked cautiously on the bedroom door of his lover, mentor, and guardian. He wiped a stray tear off his face as he waited for an answer. Jason opened the door slowly his expression angry at first and then it softened.
“What happen,” Jason said.
“I am sorry, I know I am supposed to tell you before I leave, I know I was gone all day. My sister called, my Mum…” Ianto said his voice going out at the end as he began to sob openly.
Jason pulled Ianto in to a hug. “Does it ever get any easier,” Ianto managed to sob out after a minute.
“No, not if you want to keep your soul,” Jason said.
“Do you still have your soul,” Ianto asked in a teasing tone nestling his face against Jason’s t-shirt.
Jason chuckled. “You would never let me lose it,” he said softly then pressed a kiss into Ianto’s hair.
“It’s my fault,” Ianto said, “I should have gone to stay with her after Tad died.”
Jason stiffened. The debate over Ianto moving back home had been the biggest fight the two had had since they met. “What happened,” he asked his voice showing no emotion.
Ianto looked up into Jason’s eyes, “Overdose of prescription medication,” he answered.
“Then it was her fault,” Jason said.
“One might say it was yours,” Ianto snapped as he pushed Jason away.
For once Jason let him go.
Ianto woke up from his nap with a brief moment of peace before the reality of his life came crashing down on him. He had been dreaming of his father. Back when he was 9 before the two started to disagree about everything, before Ianto ran away, before his Tad had shown up at Jason’s and yelled at his son for being gay, before the apology letter his father sent, and before his father passed away.
Ianto lay on his couch looking straight at the ceiling thinking about his Mum and Tad. He had grieved so differently after both of their deaths. It had taken 4 days for him to finally cry over his Father and nearly 4 months for him to stop crying over his Mother. He had run towards Jason after his Father’s death and pushed Jason away after his Mother’s.
Sobs started to go through Ianto’s body this was a pain he knew he would feel over and over again, he didn’t like the feeling at all. He sat up and wrapped his arms around himself trying to hold himself together least he break into a million pieces. He startled when he felt someone place a hand on his shoulder. He was surprised when he turned to see it was Aria Miller.
“Sorry didn’t mean to scare you,” Aria said softly.
Ianto shook his head, “It’s okay, but how did you get in?” he asked wiping his eyes.
“My husband kinda owns the place so I have a key,” Aria said with a grin.
Ianto’s eyes widened. Jason wasn’t paying for his flat at all, his future self was.
“Oh of course,” Ianto said laughing out loud.
“Plus the door was unlocked,” Aria said gesturing towards the front door.
Ianto’s face paled. The door, crap Aria would have opened it and he was supposed to call Jack when that happened. As he reached into his suit jacket for his phone he realized that no one had returned it to him. Well that wasn’t his fault.
A baby’s cry broke Ianto from his thoughts. He looked down to see baby Ruby strapped into her child seat on the floor. Aria bent and took her out of it then cradled the baby in her arms.
“You are getting better I see,” Ianto teased.
Aria rolled her eyes then she gently handed the baby to him. She was happy now that she was no longer restrained in her seat. Ianto held her up in front of him so her little feet rested on his thighs. Her eyes were his exact shade of blue. Ianto couldn’t believe he hadn’t noticed that before. He laughed slightly as Ruby pushed her feet into his thighs as if trying to stand all the while trying to get her whole hand in her mouth. Ianto sighed. This baby was his future, a reason to go on, to keep fighting.
“Thanks,” Ianto said to Aria.
Suddenly the door busted open startling the baby who let out an ear splitting scream. Ianto propped her over his shoulder and began to gently bounce her making small cooing noises. Jack stood in the door way obviously confused by the sight in front of him.
Aria got up from her seat and placed her hands on her hips facing Jack.
“What the hell is your problem mister, I own this flat, I have half a mind to call the police the way you just busted in here, scared my baby half to death. Is that what you like to do scare babies? You will be paying for that broken lock as well. In fact you should probably head to the hardware store now. Ianto will want some security to night while he sleeps.” Aria yelled at Jack getting closer and closer to the older man until she was standing right in front of him and standing on her tip toes pointer finger in his face.
Jack put his hands up in surrender, “I am sorry I didn’t mean to scare the baby, of course I will repair the lock,” he managed to stammer out when Aria had finished her rant. Ianto understood what his future self saw in Aria now, she had a fiery temper.
“You bet your ass you will,” Aria snapped turning back toward Ianto and taking the baby gently from him with a smile. “Okay, it was good chatting with you Ianto; I will tell Mr. Davies that there was no burglary last night. I can’t wait till my husband comes back from Berlin so I don’t have to deal with all this tenant drama.” She then grabbed Ruby’s car seat and headed out the door.
Jack closed it behind her then pulled Ianto’s phone from his coat pocket and handed it to him.
“She was scary,” Jack said.
Ianto couldn’t help but smile. “You should see her husband. He is a real badass.”