How can you do this to yourself Ianto? chapter 3
Genre: Hurt/comfort, Angst
Rating: NC-17 can vary through out chapters
Status: Incomplete
Warnings: child abuse, self harm, homophobia
Summary: Ianto's past is comeing back to haunt him
and jack doesnt no what todo
he is just there to comfort him
When they got back to Iantos flat they were deep in each others throats lost in each others unique pheromones, the earlyer disturbances dropped but not forgoten. Hands raked over bodies pushing up t-shirts and shirts neading the skin on skin contact. They pulled apart desperate to catch there breaths only to fall back into desperate kiss' again "Ianto please, we cant not know" Ianto whined "why..." Jack shook his head "we, we just cant not now" Jack new how fragile Ianto was how easily he would be broken in his fragile state of mind he was worried, he could see how lost he was in his eyes Ianto did such a good job at hideing his internal pain, Ianto trembled with feral want "i'm sorry Ianto i want it as much as you do but we just cant" "one shag isnt going to kill me Jack, i no what your thinking " he screwed his face up mimiking jacks thought voice "he's to fragile, to fucked up in the head he's to broke wright now" Ianto spat his fists clenching again, his eyes blazed with anger. "Ianto please you no its just becouse i care, you was lost at that park i had to bring you back to the real world it took me neary an hour" Jacks voice cracked remebering how lost his loved one looked he didnt even look like his lover he looked so much younger and vulnerable "remember the last time that happpend and we made love afterwards, you wouldnt speak to me you wouldnt eat or sleep all becouse i shagged you, i aint letting that happen again please understand"
Tears rolled un checked down Jacks face why wont he understand? Ianto looked at his lover long and hard trying to sus out Jacks out burst, his heart clenched as he looked into his lovers eyes, he generaly cared for him, no matter what he did, Jack cared and loved him, but why?
Ianto reached over and took his lover into his arms pulling him in close and kissing his hair as he felt him shake with raking sobs "sshh baby sshh its all okay, i'm fine okay if you dont want to make love then thats fine" he stoked Jacks hair as he moved them over to the sofa and sat down "why wont you understand Ianto, why" he sniffed as he pushed he face into iantos chest "why wont you understand that your my world and my everything that i truly love and care for you?" Iantos heart broke as he listend to how broken his lover was at his actions "i'm going to loose you one day Ianto and i dont want it to be now i want it to be in fifty or sixty years when your old" an unbiden tear rolled down the welsh mans cheek he truly hadnt seen Jack so broke, he felt guity it took Jack to break down in his arms for him to realsie Jack loved him and cared for him to realise he wasnt alone anymore and Jack was in it to the end.
"i'm so sorry Jack i was so selfish and blind to what this is doing to you, you put up with so much of my shit, torchwoods shit, gwens shit, the hole teams shit and i was blind to it all becouse i was all rapped up in my problems and i'm so sorry" they lay wrapped up in each others arms sobbing befor one of them spoke, it was Jack, "Ianto you wasnt blind at all, you was focused, focused on your past, focused on controlling your emotions" Ianto new that what Jack was saying was the truth but he didnt like it. "shall we go to bed?" Ianto mumbled, Jack looked up at the young man puzzle "but its only eleven oclock in the morning?" Ianto grinned "well i'm not going to work am i, might aswell make the most of it" Jack grinned back at him "okay"
It wasnt long after they had goten cosy in there king sized bed and drifted of into comftable sleep that night mares began to trouble ianto again.
"Mam no please dont please stop i, i, i'm sorry Mam please just stop" Ianto led on the floor of his kitchen clutching at his face and stomach trying to sheild himself from the repeated blows of his mothers foot and the scratching of her nails on his face "you dirty little queer!" she screeched as she laid another blow to his ribs "Mam PLEASE i didnt mean to fail biology i'm just not that good at it please stop hurting me" "only queers fail!" she yelled.
the front door could be heard opening and closeing as Iantos father walked in from work, he walked in on a bloody and broken ianto on the floor being repeatedly kicked and scratched "BRAITH! get of off my son! stop beating him for crying out loud, BRAITH!" he ran forward pushing the woman to the ground "what is wrong with you!" Ifan yelled bending down to pick up his teenaged son "come on lets get you out of here he cradled his son in his arms and headed for the door throwing back over his shoulder "you keep away from Ianto you monster" and he left for Iantos bedroom
"Ianto, Ianto come on baby wake up sweet heart" Jack held his lover to his chest again rocking back and forth as his lover thrashed and cried in his sleep he stroked his hair and kissed his forhead talking quietly to his troubled sleeping boyfriend "come on baby time to wake up" Ianto yellped in his sleep and clutched his ribs his eyes flying open with fear tears streaming down his face as he shook moveing to hold onto Jacks waiste "why does she hate me so much its not my fault i'm queer!" Ianto screamed into Jacks chest "hey now.. dont use that horrible word" Jack whisperd. "do you want to talk about it?" Ianto shook his head pushing his face hard against Jacks chest "thats okay maybe later" he moved to setle against the plush pillows holding his lover close "its all okay now hun its all okay" he kissed the top of the welshmans mused hair hearing his lover sigh in relife lifted his spirits alittle "we'll talk about it later" Chapter 4-http://jackxianto.livejournal.com/6376364.html
Rating: NC-17 can vary through out chapters
Status: Incomplete
Warnings: child abuse, self harm, homophobia
Summary: Ianto's past is comeing back to haunt him
and jack doesnt no what todo
he is just there to comfort him
When they got back to Iantos flat they were deep in each others throats lost in each others unique pheromones, the earlyer disturbances dropped but not forgoten. Hands raked over bodies pushing up t-shirts and shirts neading the skin on skin contact. They pulled apart desperate to catch there breaths only to fall back into desperate kiss' again "Ianto please, we cant not know" Ianto whined "why..." Jack shook his head "we, we just cant not now" Jack new how fragile Ianto was how easily he would be broken in his fragile state of mind he was worried, he could see how lost he was in his eyes Ianto did such a good job at hideing his internal pain, Ianto trembled with feral want "i'm sorry Ianto i want it as much as you do but we just cant" "one shag isnt going to kill me Jack, i no what your thinking " he screwed his face up mimiking jacks thought voice "he's to fragile, to fucked up in the head he's to broke wright now" Ianto spat his fists clenching again, his eyes blazed with anger. "Ianto please you no its just becouse i care, you was lost at that park i had to bring you back to the real world it took me neary an hour" Jacks voice cracked remebering how lost his loved one looked he didnt even look like his lover he looked so much younger and vulnerable "remember the last time that happpend and we made love afterwards, you wouldnt speak to me you wouldnt eat or sleep all becouse i shagged you, i aint letting that happen again please understand"
Tears rolled un checked down Jacks face why wont he understand? Ianto looked at his lover long and hard trying to sus out Jacks out burst, his heart clenched as he looked into his lovers eyes, he generaly cared for him, no matter what he did, Jack cared and loved him, but why?
Ianto reached over and took his lover into his arms pulling him in close and kissing his hair as he felt him shake with raking sobs "sshh baby sshh its all okay, i'm fine okay if you dont want to make love then thats fine" he stoked Jacks hair as he moved them over to the sofa and sat down "why wont you understand Ianto, why" he sniffed as he pushed he face into iantos chest "why wont you understand that your my world and my everything that i truly love and care for you?" Iantos heart broke as he listend to how broken his lover was at his actions "i'm going to loose you one day Ianto and i dont want it to be now i want it to be in fifty or sixty years when your old" an unbiden tear rolled down the welsh mans cheek he truly hadnt seen Jack so broke, he felt guity it took Jack to break down in his arms for him to realsie Jack loved him and cared for him to realise he wasnt alone anymore and Jack was in it to the end.
"i'm so sorry Jack i was so selfish and blind to what this is doing to you, you put up with so much of my shit, torchwoods shit, gwens shit, the hole teams shit and i was blind to it all becouse i was all rapped up in my problems and i'm so sorry" they lay wrapped up in each others arms sobbing befor one of them spoke, it was Jack, "Ianto you wasnt blind at all, you was focused, focused on your past, focused on controlling your emotions" Ianto new that what Jack was saying was the truth but he didnt like it. "shall we go to bed?" Ianto mumbled, Jack looked up at the young man puzzle "but its only eleven oclock in the morning?" Ianto grinned "well i'm not going to work am i, might aswell make the most of it" Jack grinned back at him "okay"
It wasnt long after they had goten cosy in there king sized bed and drifted of into comftable sleep that night mares began to trouble ianto again.
"Mam no please dont please stop i, i, i'm sorry Mam please just stop" Ianto led on the floor of his kitchen clutching at his face and stomach trying to sheild himself from the repeated blows of his mothers foot and the scratching of her nails on his face "you dirty little queer!" she screeched as she laid another blow to his ribs "Mam PLEASE i didnt mean to fail biology i'm just not that good at it please stop hurting me" "only queers fail!" she yelled.
the front door could be heard opening and closeing as Iantos father walked in from work, he walked in on a bloody and broken ianto on the floor being repeatedly kicked and scratched "BRAITH! get of off my son! stop beating him for crying out loud, BRAITH!" he ran forward pushing the woman to the ground "what is wrong with you!" Ifan yelled bending down to pick up his teenaged son "come on lets get you out of here he cradled his son in his arms and headed for the door throwing back over his shoulder "you keep away from Ianto you monster" and he left for Iantos bedroom
"Ianto, Ianto come on baby wake up sweet heart" Jack held his lover to his chest again rocking back and forth as his lover thrashed and cried in his sleep he stroked his hair and kissed his forhead talking quietly to his troubled sleeping boyfriend "come on baby time to wake up" Ianto yellped in his sleep and clutched his ribs his eyes flying open with fear tears streaming down his face as he shook moveing to hold onto Jacks waiste "why does she hate me so much its not my fault i'm queer!" Ianto screamed into Jacks chest "hey now.. dont use that horrible word" Jack whisperd. "do you want to talk about it?" Ianto shook his head pushing his face hard against Jacks chest "thats okay maybe later" he moved to setle against the plush pillows holding his lover close "its all okay now hun its all okay" he kissed the top of the welshmans mused hair hearing his lover sigh in relife lifted his spirits alittle "we'll talk about it later" Chapter 4-http://jackxianto.livejournal.com/6376364.html