sammy_ianto (sammy_ianto) wrote in jackxianto,

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How can you do this to yourself Ianto? chapter 5

Genre: Hurt/comfort, Angst
Rating: NC-17 can vary through out chapters
Status: Incomplete
Warnings: child abuse, self harm, homophobia
Summary: Ianto's past is comeing back to haunt him
and jack doesnt no what todo
he is just there to comfort him

"what are you going to have love?" Jack looked at Ianto? he was fiddling with the hem of his jumper looking at the menu, every now and then the edge of his bandage could be seen it made Jacks stomach turn, everything that had happend this morning and here they were having lunch at the warf, Jack would never admit it but sometimes running away from the turmoil was his best policy, he realy wanted to kick himself for it, "i think i'm going to have the hunters chicken, what about you?" Jack smiled "double cheese burger with bacon topping and extra portion of fries" Ianto chuckled "your such a pig" "i know" Jack laughed he looked at Ianto, Something was bothering him but he just didnt no what, He liked to think that he new Ianto pretty well but recently he felt like he didnt no him at all, Jack didnt like no knowing, it made him feel useless, its been nearly three days since Jack found him lying in a pool of his own blood also three days ago he lost his lover and his best friend to his inner demons, and he needed to get him back.
Ianto looked up at Jack through his eyelashes he could tell he was deep in thought, his elbows were propped on the wooden table his fingers steepeld together and his chin resting ontop his baby blue eyes smokey with thought, a small smile played at his lips, "Jack, what you thinking about?" Ianto reached over a hand to touch the side of Jacks face, the older man blinked and rested his face into Iantos cool hand "not alot just about the past few days, its been a real eye opener" Jack sighed, ianto looked down at the table in shame "i'm realy sorry cariad, i dont no what i was thinking, i'm happy i realy am, you make me happy" Ianto spoke sincearly, "i no love, right i'm going to go and order lunch, what drink would you like?" Jack stood up holding Iantos hand in his own, "just a coke please" Ianto smiled, the older man nodded and smiled back.

"That was beautifull" Jack mumbled through a mouthfull of burger wipeing his mouth clean with a napkin, "Ianto you've only eaten a quater of your food" Jack pointed at his plate "sorry, i guess i'm not that hungry" he shurgged his shoulders Jack frowned "Ianto you have to eat more you havnt eaten at all since yesterday" he sat back in the wooden chair and stared at Ianto "eat some more please" "jack your not my mother" Ianto frowned and picked up a chip and dipped it into tar tar sauce the younger man loved chips and tar tar sauce but Jack dispised it, the older man smirked "no but your doing as your told" Ianto grinned "shut up Jack"

"Can we go to the hub please i have some filing i need to do" the walked along the bay looking out at the little boats bobbing over the water "its our day of Ianto, that means no work" Jack stopped to look at ianto moveing to stand infront of him looking straight into his troubled eyes "i no Jack but i need to do something, im not completly useless you no, i can still work, Look i'm fine please lets just go to the hub for an hour and then we will leave" Ianto pleaded with Jack, he placed his hands on Jacks sholder and stared back at Jack, "please" Jack broke the eye contact and looked down shakeing his head "fine, but only an hour" Ianto smiled,"thankyou, you can sit with me if you want, just dont distract me while i work" he smirked at the imortal man and walked back to the water tower to use the invisible lift, Jack new why but didnt say anything.
The lift came to a stop at the bottem in the hub, Myfanwy swooped over head screeching her welcome Ianto mumbled to himself "i should go and see her later i bet she wants feeding i doubt Owen has been doing it wright" he sighed. Gwen ran over to greet Jack, jeez anyone would think he had been away a month and not three days, no stop it Ianto, happy thoughts, Jacks with you now, "Jack i thought you was haveing today of spending it with Ianto, what you doing here" "Gwen i'm wright here" Ianto waved out his arms in exasperation, "sorry love, how are you?" Gwen moved over to touch iantos arms, but he flinchhed away from her and frowend, "yerr we are but Ianto wants to come in and do some filing for an hour then we are going home again, to continue are day together" he looked at Ianto pointedly, frowning when he flinched away from Gwen, he tilted his head to one side to observe him, Ianto had grasped his injured wrist and squeezed it tightly, why is he stressing? "come on then Yan lets go, he moved past Gwen and took Iantos hand in his removing his other hand from his wrist gently, Gwen observed this but said nothing.
Owen appeared from the medical bay torchwood logoed files under his arm, he stopped when he spotted Jack and Ianto stood by the computers Ianto frozen clasping his injured wrist tightly with his free arm, "alright guys, what are you doing here" he scoweld at Jack angrly "Ianto would you come with me please" he moved to take Iantos elbow and steer him to the medical bay "no Owen were going to the archives if you care to come with us" Jack looked at him pointed Owen sighed, "fine" he moved away to walk infront Jack held onto Iantos hand tightly as they walked to the archives,
Gwen shouted from behind them "can i come!" all three turned and shouted back "no!" she turned and stormed towards Tosh who was observing the hole situation mentaly takeing notes on iantos behaviour "they never let me join in" she sulked "well maybe its a private matter" Tosh mumbled.
Jack and Owen sat in the old tatterd leather sofas in the corner of the room watching Ianto at his desk scribbling on files and ataching lables to others, "how you feeling tea boy?" Owen asked with genuin concern "i feel fine thankyou nothing much to talk about" Owen sat forward elbows on his Knees "okay fair enough" Jack spoke up "tell him Ianto or i will" the Doctor turned his head to look at Jack "tell me what?" the welshman said nothing just caried on working pretending that nothing was happening and that its just him in he safe haven and no one else, "Ianto had a slip up this morning, he's been haveing nightmares for a couple of weeks" the doctor looked between his knees befor staring at Ianto full on, "when was you going to tell me Ianto, i cant help you if i dont no anything thats been going on, we could have prevented everything that happend this week if you had told me, i no its hard mate, realy i do but please Yan you have to work with me here" Ianto said nothing he just carried on working, his hands were starting to shake but he didnt look up.
Owen stood up and moved to the desk, takeing the pen from Iantos hand, "Ianto look at me" he reached out a hand and tilted Iantos chin up to look at him, his hands were ever so gentle, the complete oposite to the Owen everyone new, tears were slipping down Iantos cheeks slowly, "dont cry mate, i no its hard belive me, my mother was a bitch to" Owen's words were like a knife to Ianto and the tears came thick and fast, Jack stood up quickly and moved over to stand next to Ianto knealing infront of him he pulled him into his arms, the older man rocked him slowly on the floor of the archives, Owen stood and watched not knowing what todo, he had never seen Ianto so broken, "i'm sorry im gay mam i'm realy sorry"
"you fucking queer no wonder you dont have any friends" she punched the fourteen year old in the side of the head nocking him into the coffee table causing the cups to fall and shatter "pick that up you bastard!" the boy sobbed as he crawled across the floor towards the shatterd glass, little glass splinters seeping into his hands "come on quickly now!" she kicked him hard in the thigh makeing him fall into the glass "mam please!" he screamed he picked up the glass and staggerd to stand up footseps could be heard running down the hallway "Mother stop it now!" Rhiannon came running into the loungeand stood infront of her younger brother "Ianto go put that in the bin and go up stairs" she turned on her mother "i should report you!" her mother laughed "you would'nt dare, you would go straight into care if you did, so move on" she turned and walked to the kitchen Rhiannon screamed after her "you bitch!" her Mam could be heard laughing from the kitchen.
The young boy led sobbing on his sisters bed blood seeping from a small cut on his head and dripping from the glass in his hands Rhiannon appeared in the door way a first aid kit in one hand and a change of clothes in the other, "i'm sorry Rhiannon i'm so sorry, i never wished this on you" Ianto sat up on his elbow's and pushed himself up so he was sat on the bed palms faceing up on his knees "hey now little brother, it doesnt matter, me and Tad will protect you till the day we die" she put the clothes and kit on the bed and stroked the side of iantos face
"lets clean you up"
Chapter 6-">

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